Love, Rants & Raves (tres)

So lately my posts have been pretty Debbie Downerish and fortunately I am finding it hard to write something gloomy on such a sunny day. It's definitely time for some Love, Rants & Raves for the summa summa time.

1. Some classic Snoop Dizzle will make any summer day twice as bright. So lean back the seat of your car, guide the steering wheel with one hand (10 and 2 is not very gangster) and Laaayyy back. Oh and go ahead and put your mind on your money and your money on your mind.

2. Plan an adult pool party. That's right, no kiddie pools allowed. Slab some steaks on the grill and indulge in your favorite sugar rimmed summer cocktail. Get tipsy. Get a tan. And have a drunken game of marco polo with your bestests.

3. Don't have a pool? Find out what neighbors are headed out of town for their summer vacation and offer to water their plants while they're gone. WAH-La - pool for you. Preferably ask a neighbor without a big stinky mutt in the backyard. If they do have a big stinky mutt go ahead and tell them it's all the rage in Paris to take your big stinky mutt on vacation with the family. Once the family and Beethoven are good and gone, get a little crazy and go skinny dipping at night... but don't do it in their pool. It's just mean to do it in the neighbors pool. Skinny dipping - Good. More than dipping - Not.

4. Find yourself a summer fling. What better way to spice up your summer? Just do yourself a favor and try and find one that has some respect for you and himself. This will help insure that you don't get the herps. No matter how cute the swimsuit is or how rockin' your bod happens to be, that all goes down the pooper when you have herpes of the mouth. So be smart poptart.

5. It's OK if your boy wants to wear flip flops in the summer... just make sure he takes care of his tootsies. I don't mean take him to your local mani/pedi shack for the summer foot package, just some basic grooming will do. If you can get your boy to get a pedicure with you then cool if you're into that. I'd personally rather not see my man nose deep in a US Weekly mag and pink separators between his toes.

6. If he continues to wear flip flops once summer is over... burn them. Seriously. Or don't be so dramatic and lock them up until next summer. However you do it just get rid of them. No excuses.

7. Make homemade iced lattes. I'm not saying this because you need to save money (let's be honest, who doesn't need to save money right now?) but because for third time in a row that I have used my right arm as payment for a venti latte they have not figured out how to put the lid on right. I almost lost it on the barista but he happened to be super gay and super adorable and I asked him if he would go shopping with me sometime instead. Way to take a stand.

8. Be a good friend! It sounds obvious but a lot of you are not being the B.F.F. you once promised to be. And if you think it's their fault because they are too busy for you, you could be wrong. Sometimes when a friend acts like they don't need their friends is when they need them most. So pick up a $5 latte (tell Rico I said heyyy) and take it to her work with an I love you B.F.F. note. Do this or surrender your LYLAS bracelet she gave you cause you have totally not been loving her like a sister.

9. Take your heart and mind and put them in separate rooms. Talk to them both. The mind will probably say it's sick of hearing the heart whine all the time and the heart thinks the mind has a problem listening but try your best to reason with them. Get them to kiss and make up. It's the only way to figure out what it is you really want and need to do.

In the Quiet

Since when did silence get so loud? I think I know when. It had to be around the time that the voices on the outside muted the one inside. When what they said what I needed became more relevant than the things I wanted to need. The only way I can avoid the quiet is to dive into the great pool of noise the outside world so willingly provides us. Beware, a strange security is offered here. Stay here when you can't bear to be in the quiet. You will never feel alone here because there are always others who need to be in this place too. You will find them backstroking in their past, free styling through their futures and butterflying away their dreams. Some are great swimmers of these waters and only allow themselves a few laps in their sorrows. Others stay wading and pruned in a state of wonder, grasping for the remaining memories of the dry land they was once crushed under their feet.

Dive. Get out. Stay.

Dive. Stay. Get Lost.

These are your options. It would seem a very simple choice if one were not so much more difficult than the other. Staying speeds up the process of becoming nothing more than a flash in time and leaving means you must keep the light burning to find your way. So have a steady hand when lifting yourself from these waters and a strong foot of balance. To be able to ignite the light's flame you will first need to dry your skin in the cold of the quiet.

Dry. Ignite. Live.

fixed in the heavens

One of the many gifts of growing up on a farm is the deep, dark blanket of a sky that awaits you each night. Witnessing my first shooting star felt liking catching a quick wink from heaven. There were many nights spent camping on the trampoline trying to fight sleep to wait for these little cosmic phenomenons. Sometimes I would create a list of the things I would like to wish for on my next shooting star.. longer hair, catching Santa in the act, a new pony.. There was always something worth wishing for. Although I don't think I ever used the list. There is something mystical about the moment you witness falling stars. The list seems to fade and God shines a quick light on your heart's true desire. All you can really do is marvel and pray He has read the one you hope for at night.

I still find myself searching for them and, yes, there is still quite a list of currents wishes. But now when a star falls i simply wink up at the sky. I know He's got a plan and I am more than ready to start building by using the very same tools that fixed the stars in the heavens.

Stage Life

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief in her 1969 book that was based on dealing with the loss of a loved one. She describes the five stages you will typically have to endure to get back on the path of a life with some promised normalcy. Reading them made me wonder if I could successfully apply these stages to other areas of my life. It took me a second to realize I had unknowingly been using these stages to prepare for the loss of something similar in importance: the loss of my greatest Fear. I happily discovered that I was not at the beginning of these stages or even in the middle but in fact I was rounding the corner to a long awaited finish line.

Stage 1: Denial
What a sweet and slow poison it is. You know you are in for trouble at this stage. It is a small challenge to fool another but to actually convince oneself that a lie has taken on the colors of truth is quite an accomplishment. You have covered your eyes and foolishly continue to describe your surroundings.

Stage 2: Anger
What do you expect? Of course you are angry, you've been tricked. What's worse is it was not the doing of an other's hand but your very own. You're gonna need to put the gloves on for this round.

Stage 3: Bargaining
This would be procrastination's BFF in my eyes. You are no longer upset but you're unsure that you really want to deal with it all. You finally see just how much work will go into fixing it and suddenly you don't seem to have the time. You begin busying yourself with being busy. There are no concrete results from this but you are sure to tire the same.

Stage 4: Depression
I believe most go through stages 1-3 more than once. You bargain yourself right back into the warm arms of denial. Once you have finally passed that stage you find yourself flat on the floor of stage 4. There seems to be so much time you have willingly wasted by trying overcome your fear. The sands of time have somehow escaped your fingers too quickly and you will feel the need to scrape for the remains. Dig too deep and you will find yourself buried.

Stage 5: Acceptance
You look back on the journey and no longer see mistakes but lessons. The fear was there and in moments you were consumed but never broken. Promise yourself that it was a part of who you were but will never determine who you are or will become. In this stage you must be able to see your reflection and know that you are going to be okay. But you will never complete this step until you truly believe that statement. "I'm going to be okay." And you wouldn't want to go fooling yourself now, would you? Because we all know that is the quickest path to the home of our old friend Denial.