Sunday, July 25, 2010
1. it's not impossible. stop being so dramatic. put on your big girl panties and deal.
2. forgive him. forget him. move on. but do each fully. half-assing any of these steps won't get you anywhere but back in his bed hating yourself.
3. stop ordering chicken fingers and fries. don't get me wrong - everyone needs a happy meal here and there. but if you are at a restaurant and what you ordered is just a larger portion of something on the kids menu you might as well just ask for crayons too. nothing is worse than a picky eater. no prize for you.
4. drink some wine with your BFF. i promise you'll feel better.
5. dress up for parties. i'm sure your new t-shirt and flippy floppies look awesome.... on the beach. don't be a slobby slob. they didn't buy invitations, decorate their home and cook all day to serve someone who just rolled out of bed. slip into a summer frock with some fabulous wedges and make a statement. that statement being that you actually take pride in the way you present yourself. your hostess will appreciate it. promise.
6. if someone has a baby that has the same name as your mutt of a dog please keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear you compare their heaven sent bundle to your booger-eyed poodle that you for some reason named Alexis. And if you have given your dog a middle or last name.... might wanna keep that on the DL too. or at least just don't tell me. i can't promise i won't judge.
7. find someone who has your same passion and has figured out a way to make a living doing it and drill them as much as they will allow. don't know anyone? search the biography section at your local book store. even Jenna Jameson has an interesting one. but hopefully your one desire in life is not to become a porn star.
8. if you are single and want to feel fresh then i suggest drastically changing your hair. nothing makes you feel like a new you more than coloring or chopping your three year old do. if you're in a relationship then obviously what your doing is working so continue. want him to break up with you? google Kate Gosselin 2008. that didn't work? well, i guess you'll have to pull a Britney. yikes.
9. take care of your pearly whites. even if they aren't straight they should at least be clean.
10. show gram and gramps some love. ask them about times in their lives when they didn't look like a prune and a cotton ball had a baby. you will be surprised to find out they were probably way cooler than we will ever be.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
So lately my posts have been pretty Debbie Downerish and fortunately I am finding it hard to write something gloomy on such a sunny day. It's definitely time for some Love, Rants & Raves for the summa summa time.
1. Some classic Snoop Dizzle will make any summer day twice as bright. So lean back the seat of your car, guide the steering wheel with one hand (10 and 2 is not very gangster) and Laaayyy back. Oh and go ahead and put your mind on your money and your money on your mind.
2. Plan an adult pool party. That's right, no kiddie pools allowed. Slab some steaks on the grill and indulge in your favorite sugar rimmed summer cocktail. Get tipsy. Get a tan. And have a drunken game of marco polo with your bestests.
3. Don't have a pool? Find out what neighbors are headed out of town for their summer vacation and offer to water their plants while they're gone. WAH-La - pool for you. Preferably ask a neighbor without a big stinky mutt in the backyard. If they do have a big stinky mutt go ahead and tell them it's all the rage in Paris to take your big stinky mutt on vacation with the family. Once the family and Beethoven are good and gone, get a little crazy and go skinny dipping at night... but don't do it in their pool. It's just mean to do it in the neighbors pool. Skinny dipping - Good. More than dipping - Not.
4. Find yourself a summer fling. What better way to spice up your summer? Just do yourself a favor and try and find one that has some respect for you and himself. This will help insure that you don't get the herps. No matter how cute the swimsuit is or how rockin' your bod happens to be, that all goes down the pooper when you have herpes of the mouth. So be smart poptart.
5. It's OK if your boy wants to wear flip flops in the summer... just make sure he takes care of his tootsies. I don't mean take him to your local mani/pedi shack for the summer foot package, just some basic grooming will do. If you can get your boy to get a pedicure with you then cool if you're into that. I'd personally rather not see my man nose deep in a US Weekly mag and pink separators between his toes.
6. If he continues to wear flip flops once summer is over... burn them. Seriously. Or don't be so dramatic and lock them up until next summer. However you do it just get rid of them. No excuses.
7. Make homemade iced lattes. I'm not saying this because you need to save money (let's be honest, who doesn't need to save money right now?) but because for third time in a row that I have used my right arm as payment for a venti latte they have not figured out how to put the lid on right. I almost lost it on the barista but he happened to be super gay and super adorable and I asked him if he would go shopping with me sometime instead. Way to take a stand.
8. Be a good friend! It sounds obvious but a lot of you are not being the B.F.F. you once promised to be. And if you think it's their fault because they are too busy for you, you could be wrong. Sometimes when a friend acts like they don't need their friends is when they need them most. So pick up a $5 latte (tell Rico I said heyyy) and take it to her work with an I love you B.F.F. note. Do this or surrender your LYLAS bracelet she gave you cause you have totally not been loving her like a sister.
9. Take your heart and mind and put them in separate rooms. Talk to them both. The mind will probably say it's sick of hearing the heart whine all the time and the heart thinks the mind has a problem listening but try your best to reason with them. Get them to kiss and make up. It's the only way to figure out what it is you really want and need to do.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Since when did silence get so loud? I think I know when. It had to be around the time that the voices on the outside muted the one inside. When what they said what I needed became more relevant than the things I wanted to need. The only way I can avoid the quiet is to dive into the great pool of noise the outside world so willingly provides us. Beware, a strange security is offered here. Stay here when you can't bear to be in the quiet. You will never feel alone here because there are always others who need to be in this place too. You will find them backstroking in their past, free styling through their futures and butterflying away their dreams. Some are great swimmers of these waters and only allow themselves a few laps in their sorrows. Others stay wading and pruned in a state of wonder, grasping for the remaining memories of the dry land they was once crushed under their feet.
Dive. Get out. Stay.
Dive. Stay. Get Lost.
These are your options. It would seem a very simple choice if one were not so much more difficult than the other. Staying speeds up the process of becoming nothing more than a flash in time and leaving means you must keep the light burning to find your way. So have a steady hand when lifting yourself from these waters and a strong foot of balance. To be able to ignite the light's flame you will first need to dry your skin in the cold of the quiet.
Dry. Ignite. Live.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
One of the many gifts of growing up on a farm is the deep, dark blanket of a sky that awaits you each night. Witnessing my first shooting star felt liking catching a quick wink from heaven. There were many nights spent camping on the trampoline trying to fight sleep to wait for these little cosmic phenomenons. Sometimes I would create a list of the things I would like to wish for on my next shooting star.. longer hair, catching Santa in the act, a new pony.. There was always something worth wishing for. Although I don't think I ever used the list. There is something mystical about the moment you witness falling stars. The list seems to fade and God shines a quick light on your heart's true desire. All you can really do is marvel and pray He has read the one you hope for at night.
I still find myself searching for them and, yes, there is still quite a list of currents wishes. But now when a star falls i simply wink up at the sky. I know He's got a plan and I am more than ready to start building by using the very same tools that fixed the stars in the heavens.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief in her 1969 book that was based on dealing with the loss of a loved one. She describes the five stages you will typically have to endure to get back on the path of a life with some promised normalcy. Reading them made me wonder if I could successfully apply these stages to other areas of my life. It took me a second to realize I had unknowingly been using these stages to prepare for the loss of something similar in importance: the loss of my greatest Fear. I happily discovered that I was not at the beginning of these stages or even in the middle but in fact I was rounding the corner to a long awaited finish line.
Stage 1: Denial
What a sweet and slow poison it is. You know you are in for trouble at this stage. It is a small challenge to fool another but to actually convince oneself that a lie has taken on the colors of truth is quite an accomplishment. You have covered your eyes and foolishly continue to describe your surroundings.
Stage 2: Anger
What do you expect? Of course you are angry, you've been tricked. What's worse is it was not the doing of an other's hand but your very own. You're gonna need to put the gloves on for this round.
Stage 3: Bargaining
This would be procrastination's BFF in my eyes. You are no longer upset but you're unsure that you really want to deal with it all. You finally see just how much work will go into fixing it and suddenly you don't seem to have the time. You begin busying yourself with being busy. There are no concrete results from this but you are sure to tire the same.
Stage 4: Depression
I believe most go through stages 1-3 more than once. You bargain yourself right back into the warm arms of denial. Once you have finally passed that stage you find yourself flat on the floor of stage 4. There seems to be so much time you have willingly wasted by trying overcome your fear. The sands of time have somehow escaped your fingers too quickly and you will feel the need to scrape for the remains. Dig too deep and you will find yourself buried.
Stage 5: Acceptance
You look back on the journey and no longer see mistakes but lessons. The fear was there and in moments you were consumed but never broken. Promise yourself that it was a part of who you were but will never determine who you are or will become. In this stage you must be able to see your reflection and know that you are going to be okay. But you will never complete this step until you truly believe that statement. "I'm going to be okay." And you wouldn't want to go fooling yourself now, would you? Because we all know that is the quickest path to the home of our old friend Denial.
Monday, April 19, 2010
1. Rub-a-dub-dub in your tub. Whip out the candles, Epsom salts, bubble bath and your rubber ducky. Get serious about your bath time. Send your boyfriend/hubby out for a beer with the boys (I'm sure he won't be too upset about that) and drop the kids off at your mommas house for a couple hours so you can make room for some you time. Turn on a sweet ass playlist and drink wine in your tub until you are a certified prune.
2. Skip the sale rack this week. I know, I know, times are tough, i get it. But you shouldn't underestimate the major self esteem boost that can be found in the zipper of a full priced ensemble. Still need to justify it? Just make it a classic piece. Don't bring home a $300 plum & navy striped skirt no matter how "amazing" & "totally hot right now" the dressing room guy says it is. No one is going to believe you when you claim you'll where it to your reunion that's 3 years away. Get real.
3. Stop ignoring your 'change oil soon' sign. No one hates waiting in that greasy waiting room watching Ricky Lake reruns and getting checked out by a real life Homer Simpson for 2 hours more than I do but you must endure this. It's just not worth effing up your car and having to sign half your life away in bills a few months later. I've learned the hard way so just take my word for it. This goes for brakes too. Nothing is more irritating than having your windows down while enjoying your it's-actually-not-blazing-hot-outside-thank-the-Lord playlist only to have someone pull up next to you with what sounds like 3 screeching kittens under their hood. Don't be the ruiner of the moment.
4. Repaint your nails or take off the paint all together. Yes, you. Look at that chipped blue nail polish. That's a big no no. I am guilty of this myself but am getting better. My mother always told me it was trashy and no one likes trash. This goes for the toes too. But try and keep those painted. There are very few people who can pull off the nude toe look.
5. Make a coffee date. Get crazy and order a venti and talk the afternoon away with a pal. Or go by yourself... just bring a journal or something to keep you occupied. There is nothing normal about having a conversation with yourself out loud... in public anyway.
6. Stop box coloring your hair. Just stop.
7. Write a sweet note in lipstick on the mirror for your lover buns to find. Be sure to kiss the mirror too. He just might invite you into his morning shower... & that would be a great way to start a sure to be crap filled Monday.
8. Love yourself. I know I say it all the time but I believe we can't be reminded enough of this. Sadly, it is so easily forgotten.
Friday, April 16, 2010
It starts by waking up out of breath one morning and you quickly get the feeling that you have lost something. You reach for your phone and it's there. You search for your keys, your favorite necklace, your purse, your wallet, a credit card and it's all where it should be. Even the dog is flopped down in his usual spot. But the feeling is still there.
So you begin to believe you've missed something. What day is it? Friday? What's the date? Is it some one's birthday? Was I supposed to mail out that bill yesterday? Is it my day to pick up the kids? Was there a meeting today? You tear through your schedule trying to pin down what it is that you've missed because you just know you've missed something... right? No, you have not missed anything. And when you realize that is when you feel it.
Nothing is lost and you have not forgotten to water the plants or call your boss. Instead of losing you have blindly gained something. It now feels as if there is someone following you. A presence you can't describe and only see when it thinks you are not looking, a quick glance from the corner of your eye. At first it feels like a stranger then becomes a stranger who you could swear you have met before and finally it will become apart of you. You take it in as an extension of yourself, making room for it at the dinner table, offering it a cigarette on your break, even making room in your bed so it's obscure being will have a place to rest. It will be on it's best behavior at first and you begin to think you can willingly adopt this thing into your life. But you will only think this at first.
It will begin to act out. It will leave sinks running, push plates of food from the dinner table and let the dog out the front door. You will start to blame those you love for it's actions. They will be the reason things are going wrong and you'll feel you are realizing it's been their fault all along. You begin to drift from the rest with your arms wrapped securely around it. You must protect it, you are all it has and slowly it is becoming all you have as well.
Then one night you will be in bed and your lover will try to hold you and for the first time it will feel foreign to both of you. He just can't get close enough or seem to put his hands in the right place. It becomes uncomfortable. Your lover will turn and weep because he has forgotten how to hold you. You will turn and weep because you know that it is not him but because you have allowed it to lay between you.
Two things will happen the next day. Your lover will have his suitcase packed or you will pack your lovers suitcase. If you pack his suitcase there will be a goodbye and if you don't a goodbye still remains. You look from the corner of your eye to the comforting shaded figure and wonder if you can leave it. After all the reason it acts out and demands your attention is simple: it is a manifestation of every rotting and blooming fear inside of you. Living with it will be difficult and lonely but it will be familiar and, the most dangerous of words, comfortable. Saying goodbye to it will require you to allow your lover completely inside, to have him see you for the imperfect mess we all are and to single handedly murder your fears.
So, if you are wise, you will beg your lover to stay and he will agree and let you have your moment to say goodbye to it. You will draw a warm bath and invite it to join you. This is the only time it will concede to letting you see it's face. And what a hideous face it will be. The face is disfigured by doubt, wrinkled with rejection and invaded with tumors of self loathing that pulse from it's features. At first this will make it easier to do what you have to do but then the familiar warmth of his comfort will come over you. It will remind you that by allowing it to stay you will never have to face this again, never have to confront this bound flesh of fear.
You must be strong here and continue. You must guide its mangled face beneath the warm water and hold it there. When the struggle begins you will start to mourn your decision but you will continue and soon there will no longer be movement between your shaking hands. It is then that you will also sink but when you hit the bottom it will be next to the start of a path. A path that was created by fear but will eventually lead to what we all hope to find: the beating and bleeding heart of love.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
1. Celebrate Life. That is what I'm suggesting for you as well as me. In fact, let's talk about things we can celebrate.
2. Celebrate your body. Stop calling yourself a fat cow. Seriously, stop it. Right now. You're body is capable of some pretty incredible things and it really doesn't need your potty mouth constantly yelling at it while it's trying to get you through the day. Shame on you.
3. Celebrate your country. Be patriotic for a change. You don't have to go tattoo the American flag on your chest but maybe really pay attention to the words of the pledge and let your chest swell with some pride. Maybe let a soldier go in front of you in the grocery line or simply thank them for the risk they are taking or have taken on our behalf. Whether you agree with the war or not you should still have the decency to respect those who put their lives on the line for yours.
4. Celebrate our world! Spend the day outside and admire the weather, whatever it may be. Go on a walk and pick up any trash you find along the way. No one likes a litter bug! Maybe even get a little crazy and recycle what you find. Be kind to mama earth.
5. Celebrate the wonderful people in your life. Call someone who you know would love to hear from you, go take your Grandma some flowers or buy one of those 'just because it's Tuesday' cards and give it to your sweetheart. Maybe even take it step further and call that person up who needs your forgiveness or even more importantly needs an apology. Swill that big fat pill of pride and make room for a little warmth in your heart.
6. Celebrate your Faith! Go to church people. I really need to take my own advice on this one. We could seriously all use some Jesus in our lives.
7. Celebrate YOU! Be that sunshine you seek from others and start with making your own light. Smile because, thankfully, your body showed up to work today! Turn on a good song while you make dinner tonight and dance on those wondrous and capable feet of yours while you cook a hearty meal. Start your day out with loving yourself... this way you will be more capable of fully loving others.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Oh, how easy it is to get down on yourself! Sometimes it honestly shocks me how comforting it is to slip into the easy chair of sorrow. Just a few weeks ago I decided to cut alcohol and refined sugars out of my life for 50 days. I just wanted to feel somewhat healthy for awhile.. Waking up with the stale taste of a long night in my mouth was just getting old. So I embarked on this little journey with as much determination as I could sweep up and prepared myself for change. The first week was hard. Seriously, hard. The sugar didn't really bother me, I'm a spicy/salty girl myself, it was the drinking.
You always hear that people who have substance abuse problems never think they have a problem. And those people are so silly because it's so obvious that they have problems, right? Maybe that line between okay and not is a little more blurred than I imagined. No, I'm not saying my life should be put on hold for rehab but I am okay with admitting if hadn't stopped when I did I was only a few bottles of Kettle One away from my personal invitation.
So, how did I recognize that I missed the booze a little too much? It was facing my daily emotions sober that really knocked me on my arse. I mean, who really cries sober? In my former opinion that was simply for the weak at heart. But there I was on day 4 without my most beloved friend Mr. Merlot and sure enough there were tears falling slowly and then furiously. This was the last thing I expected to happen as a result of cutting a few vices from my diet. If anything I thought I was going to lose a couple lbs in the process and be on my marry way to a congratulatory shopping spree. But there I was balling like a baby in sunset cast traffic. Awesome idea Charlotte.
But it was in fact an awesome idea. Because once you have a chance to mourn the all the shit that is going wrong in your life you are faced with another choice: pick that bottle up and drink that frown upside down or actually do something about it. I surprised myself and continued my non alcoholic (and sometimes painfully boring) journey. I layed out a plan for myself. I was going to face some serious fears. And I did! I was slowly flicking each stone that weighed down my chest and began to feel the heavy wheeze become a gasp for this increasing fresh air.
And then I failed. On day 24 I gave in to a very convincing red sangria. And you would think it was because I had had such a terrible day but no this was not the case at all. It was a gorgeous day and everyone around me couldn't help but notice that I was much lighter in a mental and physical sense. And this is when I assumed I was in control more quickly than I had expected. My reasoning? I had made it 24 days! I deserved just ONE drink, right? Ha. Silly me. One drink ended up only being four and I did have a great time. I was finally completely in control of me. I thought I had finally figured it all out. This was the Charlotte I loved and wanted to be and share with everyone around me. It was the next day when one turned into 10 that I knew I had thrown in the towel too soon.
That was two days ago and I cannot express to you how intense the emotional boxing match within has been. I became so angry with myself. And there is only one way to turn when the shame hits and that's to put a drink in my hand... but something stopped me today, a quote actually:
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
2. Go through your old photos. And I don't mean just a couple years back to your high school days so you can compare your younger body to the older version you now inhabit. I mean pull down those dusty boxes of your family and baby photos. Find pictures of your parents when the love was young and unsure, your mother cradling you for the first time and the arrival of younger siblings. Find your grandmother as a teenager, agile and sharp with a beaming smile of curiosity that your eyes will never have the pleasure of witnessing in person. Watch how their journeys have slowly paved the stepping stones to your own. After, life's heavy load may seem that much more bearable.
3. Cleanse your body. I know it's fun to be reckless but it's the only body you've got and it deserves some serious maintenance sometimes. So eat your veggies, drink some water and get some deep shut eye. Maybe get crazy and talk a walk after dinner. You can always return to your debaucherous ways.
4. Read a book. Do I really even need to justify that one?
5. Have a game board party. Seriously. Get your childhood favorites.. Whip out Connects Four, Candy Land, Guess who, Clue, Mouse Trap or a good old game of War... Whatever you loved playing when you were a wee one. You'd be surprised how fun it still is to partake in a fight to the death of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
6. Be kind to strangers. I know its sometimes hard to understand why some people are even allowed out of their homes but you don't know their story. So even if it is through gritting teeth, smile and wish them a good day. Help an old lady or overwhelmed mother with her groceries or give a kid a dollar to play the claw machine.Or offer a loved one to take their kids for a night so the parents can have a proper night on the town. I imagine there is nothing more refreshing for their love than to get drunk and make out in the backseat of their truck like they were the kids again. Just do your deed for the day. It's consistently rewarding.
7. Write someone a letter. Not an email or a text. A letter handwritten with scribbles and all. It will be less of a message and more of an extension of yourself. Even if it's just placed in your own mailbox for your spouse to find it will be a sweet relief tucked between the mean faced bills.
8. Love deeply, use everything in you to make it honest and, of course, love often.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
If you were to get a glimpse into my bedroom on a night a little more than a year ago you would most likely have witness a scene that became my lovely ritual for some time. My favorite black candle would be lit, a lip stamped wine glass on the nightstand, the stereo crooning and i would be wrapped in some sort of black satin or lace concoction... Probably waiting for someone to come over, right? Hardly.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
This is a picture of me and my 20 year old younger brother David Lee Crow. David Lee is a talented artist, musician and writer and will be the new guest blogger for WastedYoungHearts. This is his first entry and we are going to try and make it a monthly contribution to my blog so show him some love. Let me just express how immensely proud I am of the incredible artist he has become. I love you David Lee.
Every single day, millions of people wake up and put on their man suits. Armys of these robots sit at the designated quarters in
their self-assigned beehive tap tap tapping away at their worker keyboards, blank faced and staring dully forward calculating their days work.
A life-time ritual lived on auto pilot.
A sadistic scheme created and instilled in the minds of the mediocre by the rich and wealthy.
Honestly; how does one grow in a world of such cultured vibrancy and surreal wonder,
A world with a consistent vibe beating through the ages and constantly leaving its trace on the mind
through memories, the present moment, and that which has yet to have happened and STILL slowly become something that
represents everything that is opposite?
We are all canvases, the choices we make and events that occur in our lives decorate our inner and outer image with splattered paint and penciled precision, elegantly exposed and beautiful in our own ways.
With an overwhelming 6 billion people breathing right now at this very moment, I am forced to assume that it is simply the destiny
of many to carry a blank canvas. To exist as a tool, a gear in the machine of humanity and to forever live unaware of the intoxicating
emotion of truly feeling free and infinite.
To have never come to that point in their life in which they will have reached a climaxing realization of potential and ability
that devastates and destroys all negative thoughts and emotions that ever had a slight chance of conquering their goals.
For those who do have this, they are the creators, the composers of their own orchestras, the aspiring and the inspired who
wield this weapon of possibility with confidence and proof. This weapon I speak of is passion, its ammunition is love, and the
battlefield in which it is fired is our lives. With that being said, good luck soldier.
Here are the links to David Lee's music & art projects:
myspace.com/davidleecrow, myspace.com/theirishfront, myspace.com/drugsthemusic
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The dreaded day is coming people. February 14, 2010 is just around the corner. And it seems that most the blogs I have read are doing some pretty heavy bashing on poor ol' Mr. V-day. For the past few years the day of lovers seems to have become the day for people to hate people who have lovers. What a shame.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
“I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you can see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”
When you read this quote from the late yet brilliant Mr. Vonnegut don’t be surprised if for a few moments the way you view the present suddenly shifts. In those moments there is an intoxicating combination of panic and delight that runs through your veins faster than any dirty martini could dream. A fever for adventure sears your skin and you can almost swear that Kurt Vonnegut himself has given you the long awaited permission of living the life you’ve always desired. You can already see your windows rolled down, suitcase packed, regrets in the rearview and an unending pavement of promise. You don’t care where you are going as long as it allows you to escape the center and dance along the edge.
As beautiful and enticing as this vision sounds, reality will quickly smack you in the face. What about children, your husband or boyfriend? And then there is always mothers, fathers, siblings, friends, careers and let’s not forget the dog (or kitty if you’re anything like me.) And all at once, as vivid and real as this scene seemed only seconds ago, it becomes equally impossible. You may begin to sulk but that packed bag and open road is quickly abandoned with something as simple and beautiful as your daughter’s laugh, a lover’s embrace or wine with an old friend. You soon realize there is immense beauty hidden all throughout the center of your world. Life on the edge will just have to wait. Or does it?
The reason I started this book club was so that I could not only look over the edge but so that I would be able to take you with me. I wanted a group to be able to witness the lives and trials of colorful and dark characters alike and not only for our entertainment but for our benefit. To improve or to rediscover ourselves through the turns we make when slipping into the shoes of another. To ask ourselves what choices we will make in the world that lies in these pages. And most importantly, who will stop at the edge and who will simply keep walking.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
There is a stage in all of us. There are no props or script available just a dimly cast stool waiting for you. It's wooden panels, musting curtains and empty seats are not waiting for you to tell story or entertain, all they are asking for is the truth. Throughout life we learn many faces of deception. We rely on schemes that are capable of curving the spine of truth. This stage is where the major events of life take place. Events that can have hundreds of witnesses in the audience or only you and a chilling breeze. It is our choice where we place ourselves here. You can hide behind the curtains, join the audience, dance around the light or step directly into it.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I knew exactly who each was and the experiences my imagination had painted for them to have. The limbs of their bodies take root at my wrist and stretch their hands into my own. This is the only way their stories can blossom onto pages and become real. It is my job to mold them into existence and I haven't been giving them a fair shot.
There is one thing that every creative writing class I have taken has repeated and that is to write what you know. It's natural to question yourself when you first here this. What do I know? And I truly believe too many people underestimate how much they actually know and how many stories they really have inside of them. I find it strange when people claim what they have to say would be uninteresting because they have had an uneventful or privileged life. The way I see it is we are all human. I don't mean that in any Kumbaya-sit-around-the-campfire sort of way. I'm saying if you breakdown all our different circumstances there is only one thing that remains. Passion. We feel passion in so many different ways than realized. It is mostly associated with love and determination but i think it is the root of all emotion. If someone has lost someone important in their lives, becomes ill, loses their job, gets their heartbroken, etc. Their circumstances are still attached by raw emotions. Love. Hate. Jealousy. Determination. Fear.. and so on. When it comes to writing, all of us can tell a story others can relate to because everyone is capable of feeling. So whether you write a story about losing your mother or your goldfish if you can make us feel the pain you faced then we can believe in the character, the story and you.
Now I just need to take a little of my own advice and believe that I do have a story to tell, I can make a difference and no one is capable of telling it the way I can.
Monday, January 11, 2010
1. They don't take themselves too seriously! I'm not saying you need to be a goofball 24/7 but I do think it's important to be able to let yourself go when the moment presents itself. There is a time and place for everything so please don't go making a fart noise in the middle of an important meeting with your boss to prove you're a free spirit. But if you are out with friends the world is your stage! For me this rule goes for being out with boys too. It's so refreshing to be able to just be yourself on a date and it has worked wonders for me. If a boy doesn't get my sense of humor then it's best to just say thanks for the free chicken sandwich & end the night with a hug. It's so important to do things that make you feel. When you're out and about with girls who have their panties in a wad this can be a challenge (see #5). Just try to ease them into a good time and if they are not feeling the beat of your drum go on a solo mission to find other members for your band of fun.
2. They cook! You don't have to be a graduate of Le Cordon Bleu to know how to whip up some tasty treats. And boxed mac&cheese and top ramen (although wonderful munchies food) don't count. One day you're going to have a boyfriend/home or both if you don't already. Both of these factors require cooking, especially the boyfriend part. Go to your local bookstore and pick up a book on the basics then go home and experiment. An even better tool than learning from a book is giving your grandma a ring and asking her to help you whip up her specialties. I promise the sooner you can present your boy toy with some fried chicken, mashed potatoes and homemade gravy the sooner he will be thanking you in the sack. Hooray for cooking!
3. They cry :*( I know, I know.. Big girls don't cry but that is a false statement. Don't go around blubbering all over everyone but do be aware of your feelings. Let it out to a friend or do what I do and take a little drive around the block, blast some sad music and beat your steering wheel up a little bit. Other drivers may think there is a lunatic on the loose but i promise you'll feel like a new person.
4. They respect themselves! Listen to Aretha Franklin and demand a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The definition of this is a little different for everyone so it would be a good idea to figure out yours. Write it down. Start out with how you want to be treated by others and how others actually treat you. If the two match, awesome! If not, well start demanding it. You're worth the fight.
5. They know who their real friends are! This is one of the hardest but also one of the most important. It's crazy how long we will put up with life suckers & meanie heads just because they have been our "friend" for like ever. I don't care if they were born in the same flippin' hospital bed as you if they are a bad friend you need to cut the cord. How will you know the good from the evil? Think about it.. Are they constantly in competition with you? Do they try to make you feel dumb in front of boys? Do they always need you to deal with their never ending list of drama? Would you consider them a negative person? And would they tell you to wear the pink dress that makes you look like a sausage or the black that transforms you into a goddess? When you are surrounded by positive and loving people it makes such a difference in more areas in your life than you realize. Their drama is no longer your drama and with that comes a lot less stress! Who cares if you have to cross 300 friends off your list! As long as you have one or two who truly and consistently have your back then you are in good hands. Boo on mean friends! Kick 'em to the curb like a bad habit because that's all they really are.
6. They don't date douche bags. Double-You-Tee-Eff I cannot emphasize this one enough. We're all human and we all make mistakes but that's what high school is for. Date an asshole (if you must!) and get it out of your system! I don't know what is so appealing about dating someone that doesn't really like you but lots of girls seem to love the idea and even marry these jerkoffs. BOO! It breaks my little heart. If your man doesn't dote on you, we have a problem. I don't mean the dude has to kiss the ground you walk on (not all the time anyway) but he does need to think that you're the raddest chick in town. If he doesn't them ditch him! And if you know he doesn't & you continue to stay with him then shame on you! Let's go over some signs of what a class A D-bag is like.. he points out your flaws in front of others or just to you (either one is a deal breaker!) He is always talking about how other girls are hot or how much he Loves brunettes and you have been a toehead since you were two... He's cheated on you and past girlfriends. (Seriously, do I really have to repeat that one?) HE'S CHEATED ON NOT JUST YOU BUT OTHERS! There. Maybe you'll remember that now. Or you met him while he had a girlfriend and either made it very clear he'd like to sleep you or actually did sleep with you. Not hubby material. The list goes on and on.. Face it, you know deep down if you are dating a big A-hole and until you take your blinders off and deal with it, I can no longer pity you.
7. They think they are beautiful! Inside and out! We are all flawed but pointing them out in the mirror and hating yourself for them is not the way to make them go away. Seriously! Rad chicks think they are sexy as Pepsi! Think about it, if you don't think you're hot stuff then who will? I'm not saying go and get all conceited with yourself.. There is a difference between self love and self lust. Just know what you are worth and how much you have to offer (which is much more than you realize). Knowing this will probably help you out with #6 too because know truly confident girl would put up with a d-bag. Look in the mirror and, don't just say, but feel beautiful! Even if you gained 10 pounds over the holidays, big whoop. And for goodness sakes take a compliment! We all struggle with this one, including myself, so the next time someone tells you that you look nice don't immediately start listing that you're tired, old, poor, ugly or have the ass the size of a house.. Just fight the urge, take a deep breath and simply say Thank you. It's hard at first but eventually it feels incredible. So be nice to you! You are the only you that you're gonna get. So put down your own personal brand of Haterade and give yourself the sex eye instead of the stink eye for once.